It's the harvest festival and things are done in style,
And Ian Ian's got his camera and is standing in the aisle.

The Kingsbury band is playing, the sound is great,
Ian's getting ready, he can hardly wait!

First he's in the choir stalls, and then he's in the pew
Then he's in the pulpit to get a better view.

He puts these films on video, or maybe DVD.
They are sold in the village shop for everyone to see

He has done the silver jubilee, and St Petroc's fair.
It's a lovely bit of viewing when sitting in the chair.

If you have got a function you would like on DVD.
It's Mr Ian Hawkins he's the man to see.

Now here's another rhyme for you to work out whence it come.
Don't worry too much who sent it, Will Shakespeare is his name.

Anon.